Stories For My Son
Originally published in June 2014
Today I’m continuing my journey of documenting stories about me to share with my son. I’m following topics that were provided by www.babymakingmachine.com. You can find a list of previous topics at the bottom of this post.
Describe 3 legitimate fears you have, and how they became fears.
1. I have a very, very legitimate fear of snakes. Can’t hear the sound, see one on TV or in real life, or even say the word without doing some odd convulsion thing. Your dad says it’s spooky, that my eyes actually roll back in my head. You know Nana and Papaw’s house, it’s in the middle of the woods. I grew up there swimming in the creek and exploring every square inch of the area. I ran into my fair share of snakes, even caught one on some string with bologna when I was crawdad fishing. It wasn’t until my teens that I started to really lose it about snacks. Perhaps I’m suppressing some terrible run in I had, but it is a HUGE fear!
2. I fear failure. I’ve never been a fan of failure and have always been a bit of a perfectionist and overachiever. But my real fear of failure began once I became a business owner, and an immense pressure rested on my shoulders to not fail. The thought of having to tell you, your dad, your grandparents, and all my employees that I failed and had to go out of business, is just so super scary. It does remind me to praise God every single day that I experience success though!
3. I fear dependency. I’ve always been independent. Your Nana says it’s been that way since I was a baby. Your Uncle wanted to be rocked and held to sleep, so she tried that with me Lo and behold, I hated it. I just wanted to be laid in my crib and left alone to sleep. It’s a theme that’s traveled with me growing up and to where I am now. I don’t like needing someone to help me do anything. I want to know that no matter what I can take care of myself. I have to say, since marrying your Dad this fear is slowly going away. I definitely have learned to ask him for help. Although, sometimes I’ll still do something silly; like pick up an incredibly heavy thing right in front of him just because I want to do it myself. And I can say without fear that I depend on him.